Allowing Sandpaper Moments to Rub You the Right Way

Sandpaper moments.… Those moments or situations that get under your skin and rub you the wrong way. We’ve all been there, done that.
One visitor to the blog, who recently read Creating Empty Bottle Moments, wrote that she had previously considered her kitchen in its entirety to be a sandpaper moment. Why? Simple. In today’s overscheduled world, the steps involved in shopping, chopping, cooking and serving have become just more requirements on the daily mile-long to-do list. However, after deciding to rethink the sandpaper, she began to see that those actions were stepping stones in caring for loved ones and nurturing the family relationship. Suddenly, the scratch of irritation in meal preparation was replaced with the gift of meals with a purpose.
Ttransforming sandpaper moments is oftentimes a matter of attitude and perspective. For Sara, it had been a brutally long day. She sent the kids upstairs to tidy their rooms and tackle their homework so she you can slip into the kitchen and "whip up" something in a snap. Uh oh. In came little Kate, who begged to mix the ingredients. Sara’s mind was suddenly filled with visions of a flour-flocked child, an unnecessary mess and a very necessary clean up that would prolong her already tiresome day. In an instant, Sara was rubbed the wrong way, even though nothing had actually happened. The good news is that once Sara took a deep breath and stepped back for a moment, a different perspective came into view… one that reflected a child’s love offered in the form of "helping" mommy. By welcoming the assistance, Sara gave Kate a sense of purpose as she assisted with the meal preparation and allowed her to learn first-hand the value of helping a parent who was tired to the bone. Equally important, Sara demonstrated to Kate that she was an asset, not an in-the-way liability.
Just this week I received an email that said "Mr Berkman you are still crawling, you talk the talk, however, in my opinion you do not walk the walk. You're trying to sell something I don't believe you have bought yourself. It appears to me that you are not at peace with yourself, hence, so overpowering, in the sense that you have yet to aquire good listening skills" I have had to look at this and say Why and What? but most importantly HOW? How can I learn from this moment How can I do better in living in this world to make a difference not to me but to others?
No matter what the circumstances, the people, the reason or the season, most sandpaper moments will be transformed into smoother scenarios. It’s all a matter of perspective, and perspective is a personal choice. Next time you are faced with rough sandpaper, step back for a moment. Re-evaluate. Re-think. And rejoice.
With the holidays approaching, you will have ample opportunities to celebrate with family and friends. My new book, Creating Empty Bottle Moments, offers some simple yet effective tips, as well as some easy-to-follow recipes that will provide a delicious backdrop for turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. To order your copy today, please visit www.cookingwithclive.com.
As always, I encourage you to keep creating your own versions of Empty Bottle Moments — those meaningful times shared with family and friends. I also invite you to e-mail your personal stories about smoothing out sandpaper moments and creating memories around the dining room table and at mealtime.

Enjoy this great fish recipe.....................

Fish in a garlic bath
2/3 cup olive oil 20 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced thinly 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon of ground black pepper 2/3 cup clam juice or fish stock Juice of 3 limes, about 1/4 cup 1 ancho chile, stemmed, seeded and chopped 1 bunch flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped

6 6-ounce skinless, boneless filets of fresh fish
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Season fish filets with salt and pepper. Heat a large cast iron or heavy bottomed skillet over moderately high heat. When hot add 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil. Sear fish fillets about 1-2 minutes per side or until lightly golden, remove to a oven proof platter and set in oven to finish cook for 3-5 minutes or, to desired doneness. Meanwhile add the remaining olive oil, slivered garlic, salt and pepper to the pan and cook over medium low heat stirring often for about 2 minutes. Add chopped ancho chiles and continue cooking a minute or two until a toasty aroma is released. Add the fish stock or clam juice reduce by half, adding any juices that have collected on the platter holding the fish fillets. Then add lime juice and parsley, bring sauce to a boil and pour over fish on platter. Serve immediately along with plenty of white rice.